Hellion
by Leah Day
Summary: Very AU. Alaric and Jenna have a spat. Damon decides to help Alaric get back into Jenna's good books. Chaos may ensue. Things could go wildly out of control. This is my first TVD fic.


_**Hellion**_

_**By Leah Day**_

_**Summary **_

It all started with a Welsh singer ….

First "TVD" ficcy! Wee!

I'm still feeling my way when it comes to getting the characterisation right, so please bear with me.

Basically, Jenna is peeved with Alaric and decides to use booze, vodka to be exact, as a coping mechanism.

Damon, being a mate to Alaric, decides to try to help him out by attempting to find out what caused the spat and get him back into Jenna's good books asap.

So. Can devious Damon cool Jenna's rage or will chaos ensue?

Please note, this story was written out of a need for Damon and Jenna fics, I could really see those two together and was quite saddened when Jenna carked it. I haven't seen all of series three or four so I am really hoping she makes an appearance and there is some Denna. Don't spoil it for me!

Also. If you're an Alaric and Jenna fan, please do not flame me, it's just my opinion.

_**Disclaimer**_

Written in Australian and British English. Rated PG 15, aka, T to be safe. There is some nudity involved.

Note, I do like Elena, especially in series 2, but this does get a bit Elena bashy, it's just Damon's musings. They sort of spiralled out of control ….

All flames will be used to toast stuff, its effing cold here!

Now, on with ficcy!

_**The Mystic Grill**_

"Go away."

"What?"

"I said go away. I need vodka, not you."

"I'm just as good as vodka, Aunt Jenna!" Damon Salvatore stated, curious coloured eyes dancing with wicked merriment. "Care to find out?"

Jenna scowled.

"I'm sure you are," she sneered. "Go and prove it to someone who isn't me."

The male vampire sat back in his chair, feigning severe disappointment.

"Never took you for such a snob," he declared, pouting.

The human's gorgeous lips pulled into a cruel smirk before she took up her glass, skulling the clear liquid.

"One of my many talents," she divulged with much sarcasm and the slightest pinch of pride. "It only comes out when men I don't want to see or speak to send their lackeys over to pester me!"

"Hey I'm not a lackey!" Damon cried, hand on his chest.

He was truly affronted now.

'_Damn you, Alaric!'_

"I do not want to see or speak to Ric, Damon!" Jenna snapped. "Now you can either leave quietly and tell him that, or you can leave screaming, screaming in pain. What's it to be?"

Now that was provocative and disconcerting at the exact same time.

'_If she was a vampire, I'd be feeling pretty whipped by now,'_

Damon Salvatore had to consider this carefully.

Very carefully.

Couldn't compel her … Couldn't just grab her arm and drag her out of the damn bar. Elena would rant, glare and pout. Alaric wouldn't speak to him for a little over a week. Stefan would most certainly glare and lecture him about free will for two weeks max whilst working on his hair and reminding him that Elena and he were soooo perfect together and then he would … The consequences of _those_ actions were just too, too painful to entertain.

'_Think mini vamp sex god, think!_' Damon demanded of himself. _'What would Eric Northman do?'_

_**The Gibert house**_

Elena was happily chatting with Stefan as he pulled up outside her house.

Then she stopped chatting quite abruptly.

"What the …"

Tom Jones … Someone inside her humble abode was playing Tom Jones very, very loudly.

"Jeremy?" her boyfriend questioned.

Elena shook her head.

"He doesn't even know who Tom Jones is," she replied and unclipped her seat belt.

OoO

Elena had never wanted to become blind so much in her life. No, not compelled to forget, she wanted to be blind.

Elena wanted to become blind so very desperately for she would make it her mission in life to train her Seeing Eye Dog to go for Damon's prized goolies every time he reminded her of this very moment.

_**A minute earlier …**_

Naked as a babe, despite his ring and the black akubra Jenna had purchased whilst on a drunken rampage in inner city Melbourne, Damon was dancing provocatively to _"You can leave your hat on"_

In her corner of the Gilbert lounge room, Aunt Jenna whooped loudly as the lewd male vampire stripper heartily knocked back a shot then opened his mouth to bellow along with the welsh singer.

"Damon!"

Damon, realising he and Jenna were no longer alone, grinned roguishly at Elena and Stefan.

"Hiya," he greeted slurring, chucking the shot glass over his shoulder, using his free hand to clutch the black akubra to his almighty manhood. Elena could see that later under the right circumstances. "How ya doin?"

"You can leave _your_ hat on, Damon," Stefan said grimly standing beside Elena. The doppelganger was looking worriedly at Aunt Jenna who was reclining on the couch, grinning inanely.

_**End of flashback**_

"How could you?" Elena cried, all the while accomplishing the amazing feat of pouting and frowning with her mouth open at the same time.

'_Such a remarkable woman!' _Damon thought.

"Where's Ric?" Jenna demanded, staggering to her feet. "I want him to see my concubine!"

"Hey!" the eldest Salvatore protested indignantly. "I'm not a concubine!"

He dropped the hat thusly giving Elena, and everyone else a view of his doodle.

"Someone please shoot me now!" Elena groaned into her hand.

"Party pooper!" the elder Salvatore grumbled, well miffed.

"What the Hell do you think you were doing, Damon?" Stefan demanded through his teeth.

Damon had given up trying to put on his jeans and was attempting to put his head through the arm hole of his T-shirt.

"You're head doesn't go there."

"Oh."

"Again, what do you think you were doing?" Stefan cried.

"Cool it! Jenna needed cheering up," Damon revealed. "I, being me, obliged."

"By getting her drunk?" Elena all but bellowed.

The elder vampire shrugged.

"We-ell …"

"Elena, stop being such a freaking prude!" Jenna roared, still unable to rise from her chair. "Have a seat and pick a song. Steffie, take it off!"

"Oh my god," Stefan whispered, mortified by the events unfolding around him. "Everything is so heightened right now!"

"I do not want to see my brother dance naked," Damon declared noting from the corner of his eye that Elena had managed to pout and frown with her mouth open, again, at the same time.

Damn she was good!

"What started all this!" Elena demanded angrily.

"I told you-"

"Not that Damon, this!"

Stefan frowned at her.

"What's the difference between that and this?"

"That's what I'd like to know," Damon agreed wryly.

Hang on! Wait a minute! He was starting to comprehend things.

Damn!

_Sooooo_ not drunk enough.

"Hey! No one's gonna rain on this parade!" Jenna barked, eyes glazed. "Stef, strip! Damo, we need more vodka here!"

"But Jenna, what happened?" Elena cried passionately, her bosoms, Damon managed to notice, were heaving. "If you tell us, we'll figure it out together."

"Things are getting even more heightened now!" Stefan moaned despairingly.

All of a sudden, Jenna began to cry, thus bewildering everyone in the room.

"Alaric doesn't like Tom Jones!" she wailed.

_**The end**_

_**Authors note**_

There you have it, my first TVD fan fic!

Short, yes, chaotic … Hell Yes!

I prefer to enter new fandoms with short burst of nuttiness that makes no sense what so ever.

Mwhahahaha!

Here is a wee story for ya, peeps!

I am 99 per cent sure I saw Ian when I was in Seattle visiting my then partner. It was during the time that the second series of "Lost" was shooting so, then again, might not have been Ian, hence the 99 per cent, not the 100 per cent.

We didn't go near him, he looked really tired, we just looked and asked ourselves if he was the bloke who played "Boon" in "Lost."

We looked him up on the IMDB and got a huge surprise, hence the 99 per cent.

But let's be honest, it could have been a look alike, Ian was probably shooting somewhere else, and I'm not sure he'd be hanging around a random mall in Seattle Issaquah, do you?

Anyway.

Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this, excellent. If not, that's fine. We can't all like the same things.


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